Disclaimer: This was sent to me and I am just reposting it in it's entirety as I was asked to.

EARLY NEADRA PLANTAE MAGNALIOPHYTA BAMBUSOIDE CAVEMAN was first cited in this geographically indeterminate bamboo grove last week. He is believed to be the oldest living shakuhachi player in the world. Coming from the late Pleistocene Era about 10,000 years ago. He is believed to have been responsible for the extermination of the very large mammals covering the earth at the time by playing haunting sounds on a bamboo flute that caused widespread fear in the animals. It is said that they often gave themselves up peacefully to this early shaku god figure for food and in hopes that he would use their tusks in the utaguchi. They believed that it would secure safe passage into the next life. We were in shock to receive this photo from our outer space resource. They admitted that they photoshopped in the shoes and black rings on the flute just to confuse us into rewriting shakuhachi history for a few more hundred years. However, they say they cannot account for the shaku T-shirt wrapped around his waste as shyness wasn't invented for a few thousand years later. We figured it was cloth created out of the necessity of keeping mosquitoes off his JIGNASHI.